Monday, September 29, 2008

how can i keep from singing?
answer: i can't.


There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring
And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives
And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give
I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step
And fall down again
I can sing 'cause You pick me up
Sing 'cause You're there
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord
When I call to You in prayer
I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne.

What an awesome day you gave us yesterday. Four people came to know you in service right at the beginning. There's nothing that tops a day like that.

It's why we do what we do!

Worship was awesome. We had so much to be thankful for. God, you're so good.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

reminder



Saturday, September 27, 2008

heaven




Friday, September 26, 2008

fun friday gratitude


Thursday, September 25, 2008

hello i love you
won't you tell me your name?


Wonderful

Counselor

Mighty God

Everlasting father

Prince of peace.

Just need to be reminded.

That's who you are in my life...today...everyday.

Thank you for being a strong tower I can run into, where I'm safe.

I love you.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

is it even possible?


"I love God. It's His so called followers I have a hard time with."

If I've heard this once I've heard it a thousand times. And yes, I've often felt that way myself.

God, I don't know what the answer to this one is. When I tell people about you or I am trying to woo prodigals back to you, all I know is, this is the main thing that gets in the way most times.

What do I say to a person like this who I...agree with many times? If they catch me on a really bad day sometimes I wanna say, "you're absolutely right...so let's just forget about this whole thing we call "the church" and go out and love Jesus on our own."

There are periods of time where the only real pure connection I have with you without having to get beyond a bunch of stuff, is while I'm on my bike, walking, or laying in my bed. I don't have to wade through a bunch of doo-doo in order to get to you and see you clearly. I think, "if only it were always this simple..." but it's not and you have specifically told us, we do need each other and we do need the church. Why does the church often make it so hard for people to get to you? I'll never understand it.

So I know that being a part of your family in a true sense is right, not just for others but for me too. But there are many days I can't help but agree (inside my head) with the unbelievers or ex-believers who talk to me.

I've always been one who wants to change the world. What's so hard about this issue is that I don't know if it's possible in a sense of sweeping change. I don't know that millions of your followers aren't always going to screw up no matter how much people passionately implore them not to, and make millions of people want nothing to do with you. Could one person really bring about that kind of change? Could even 100 people really ever make a dent in it? I don't know.

I'm trying to be one individual who makes a difference but it feels like a mountain that is impossible to move, and many days I feel dumb for trying. I know I'm not alone. I am not the Psalmist in scripture saying, "help Lord, for the godly are no more..." I know there are many Godly people. Our problem in Christianity is that there are just as many in the church who aren't. Sometimes the Godly truly are at the very least outnumbered. Is it unrealistic thinking that we can actually make a difference and convince people that despite the pathetic actions of a large majority of the body of Christ, this journey of community is still worth it? We know YOU'RE worth it, but is community worth it? That is the nagging question.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

if you could just give me a sign...

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really, can't you make it a little easier?

Monday, September 22, 2008

psalm 63


Tara posted this on her blog yesterday. It's from the Message Bible translation and it ministered to me so much.

Psalm 63

A David Psalm, When He Was out in the Judean Wilderness

1 God—you're my God! I can't get enough of you! I've worked up such hunger and thirst for God,traveling across dry and weary deserts.

2-4 So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open, drinking in your strength and glory. In your generous love I am really living at last! My lips brim praises like fountains. I bless you every time I take a breath; My arms wave like banners of praise to you.

5-8 I eat my fill of prime rib and gravy; I smack my lips. It's time to shout praises! If I'm sleepless at midnight, I spend the hours in grateful reflection. Because you've always stood up for me, I'm free to run and play. I hold on to you for dear life,and you hold me steady as a post.

9-11 Those who are out to get me are marked for doom, marked for death, bound for hell. They'll die violent deaths; jackals will tear them limb from limb. But the king is glad in God; his true friends spread the joy, While small-minded gossips are gagged for good."

So Lord, I figure as with all of your word, we can stand on this...

claim it...

believe it...

settle our hearts on it...

thank you in advance now for breakthrough...

so should I start now start preparing for prime rib and gravy?

thanks jesus


Sunday, September 21, 2008

Take us


Listening right now...to Rita Springer...preparing for church ~

All I need to do is worship
All I need to do is say His name out loud
All I need to do is lift my hands, surrender and bow down
All I need to do is find Him
All I need to do is let His presence
fall
All I need to do is worship...worship the Lord

I'm counting on it. I know if I can just get in your presence, and if I can just get the people there, anything is possible.

"He took Peter and John and James, and went up into a mountain to pray, and as he prayed, the fashion of his countenance was altered, and his raiment was white and glistering... they saw his glory" (Luke 9:29, 32).

"If I have found grace in thy sight, show me thy glory" (Exod. 33:13).

Take us Lord, take us to the mountain and show us your glory. I've had enough of the valley for a while and truly it is time for us to stand on your mountain and declare your glory.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Friday, September 19, 2008

diamond girl...you sure do shine

“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure."
~ Peter Marshall

You're reminding me

in many different ways

I'm becoming an oak

I'm becoming a diamond

How exciting to be chosen. Everything is about focus, isn't it?

Larry always prays, "God do something so big in my life that everyone will have no doubt that it's you. I'm learning that sometimes you have to get us to a place of desperation so that when you do the miracle, it will be undeniable that your hand is on us...unmistakable that it is your touch that has made the way.

p.s. please keep your hand on that "lamb" I mentioned the other night that I'm concerned about. They are wandering. And there is nothing more I can do. Lord, my eyes are completely on you. It really doesn't get any easier to see them go astray, does it? How do you do it? Um, yeah...that's right...you're God. But you still cry...

Thursday, September 18, 2008

performing nightly

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Thanks for your help. Couldn't do it without you.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Sheep


Does worrying about sheep ever stop? Okay...not worry. I'll call it, "concern". Worry is a sin. Concern is spiritual...right?

I know I'm not supposed to worry but I do get overly concerned about certain sheep.

A shepherd's job is not 9-5, and we don't clock in and clock out. Yeah, we get a weekly "day off" aside from emergencies, but really, we are still on at a moment's notice and the shepherd's heart never just goes away. It's not the type of thing you can turn on and off, and really, would you want to? Well, I guess some do and that is what separates the shepherds from the hirelings.

Lord, you know there's there's one sheep, well actually I'd call them a lamb...and I am really concerned about them. I'm forever trying to corral them back in the pen, back into the light of your truth and away from the darkness that beckons them all the time. I don't know why they keep going back to that filth. They have so much going for them but they just can't see it. Every time they come back a total mess, I have to gently help them clean off all the junk they've been rolling around in. It does get tiring however I care so much about them, I'd go just about anywhere to rescue them and each time they are getting cleaned up, I'm just glad they are back in the fold, and I breathe a sigh of relief and pray it's the last time.

I have a disconcerting feeling right now that this time won't be the last time...but I want to believe. Right now I am believing that you, the great shepherd can speak to them, get ahold of them and give them an unforgettable revelation of your everlasting love. I love them so much...but it's nothing compared to your incredible love.

Please Lord, just give this lamb a glimpse of their destiny. Let them see the potential that I see. More than that, let them see themself the way you see them. I know once they get a taste of that, they will never be the same.

Thank you, Jesus. (I'm counting on you...)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

tired

God,

Do you get weary of cleaning up your family's messes too?

How do you cope with it? Do you just tell yourself that you're God?

(That won't work for me. I tried it back in 1989...didn't go over so well.)

Monday, September 15, 2008

you need to remind me

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of who I am because I keep forgetting.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Saturday, September 13, 2008

i eat pit bull for lunch


I have experienced something very dynamic this afternoon. A revelation from you -- huge revelation, and then a Holy Ghost filled prayer time that I truly believe shook the gates of hell and made the enemy want to puke.

I got mad. And that was all it took. Maybe that's what you were waiting for? Seriously, is that all you have been waiting for? If it's true than I feel really stupid and will make a note of it for next time.

Today I talked to a few of my spiritual children as well as a pastor friend or two. I just became fed up with what the enemy has put on some of God's children. And something rose up within me.

I read a story once of a mother who was pushing a baby in a stroller and all of a sudden a pit bull ran up and started growling at the baby and was going to attack it. Two men in the distance saw it but were not up close enough to do anything in time. One said to the other, "what do you think is going to happen?" The one said to the other, "I feel sorry for that pit bull."

When a Momma gets mad, look out.

This Momma got mad today. It was nothing with my natural children -- they're fine for this moment. It was my spiritual children. I realize some of them are under severe pressure and the enemy thought he had his way but he underestimated this mother.

What a rich time we had today, you and me, God. You know all about it but I wanted to journal it here so I could look back and remember and say, "that was the day!" I need to remember - September 13, 2008. This is really a significant day in my life.

I called a few people, spoke a strategic word into their life, and called down strongholds right there on the phone. I felt the power of God in such a strong way. Then I got off the phone, and started singing, shouting (my house was empty although they wouldn't think I was crazy...I'm known for stuff like this...they probably wouldn't blink.) I began singing, "the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, they are mighty through the Holy Ghost" and making declarations over people's lives and then you directed me to get out the church directory and call every single name in prayer, cover them with the blood of Jesus and cancel every assignment against them. Then I went on to take out our declaration for 2008 and I pulled it off of the refigerator and shouted it in the enemy's face. And standing there in my kitchen I rebuked the devourer and I shouted, "YOU HAVE MADE THIS MOTHER ANGRY, AND YOU NEED TO BE SCARED!!!!!!!!!!!!" And I just went through my house singing, shouting and praising God until I felt a breakthrough in the spirit.

You know what I think I just realized (don't know why I forgot it - other than the fact that the enemy WANTS me to forget it) but the devil wants the spiritual father and mother of the church to be spiritually incapacitated because he knows when they get mad and start to war on behalf of their children he's in serious trouble.

What's the difference between a spiritual mother and a pit bull? One's alive and one's in the frying pan getting ready to be eaten for lunch.

Idiot satan (I don't ever give you the satisfaction of capitalizing your name), I cancel every single one of your lame assignments against my children both natural and spiritual and call them null and void. I loose the power of God into every one of them and their situations, and call forth their destinies unhindered! I cancel every single one of your evil assignments against pastors, pastor's wives, and churches. I send you back to hell where you came from, and every one of your machinations are exposed now, in Jesus name. David prayed, "Let God arise, let His enemies be scattered"! And so I pray, "Let God arise, let His enemies absolutely be eaten for lunch." (Put some Sonny's Sizzlin' Sweet BBQ on mine so I can enjoy it even more....thank you very much.)

i'm just a cling on


Walking through the darkness of the past few months, I've felt closer to you than ever. In the natural, when we are walking in darkness and we have someone with us, we typically hold on to them or use them to help us find our way. As a kid when I was in Missionettes, we would have sleepovers at the church. In the middle of the night we would be walking through the dark hallways and classrooms, scared out of our minds, and I remember holding on tightly to friends, saying, 'don't leave me' and vice versa.

Sometimes I still feel like that girl wandering through the hallways of the church only I'm grown up now or at least I'm trying to. I'm finding that now with you, I'm still walking through darkness at times but it's different. In contrast to others, you don't stumble. When I cling to you, I don't fall, I just get scared of the uncertainty of the dark. I'm trying not to let it get to me so much anymore...all the dang uncertainty.

I don't know how to do it on my own, that whole ridding myself of anxiety thing. In fact, I've given up trying to do it on my own. I know it's a thing that only comes through your grace and power. And sometimes I'm ashamed to say it but I need a friend to talk me into it. Thanks for not giving up on me when I'm still that immature.

I was reading the blog of a pastor friend, David, the other day and he had a post about being free and forgetting about all our securities and comforts and realizing they never meant anything anyway. I never quite thought about it the way he put it, but it's really true. All along there has really been nothing sure but you anyway -- I just had an illusion that there were sure things.

I'm clinging on, so please just keep holding me tight.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

frequent question