is it even possible?

"I love God. It's His so called followers I have a hard time with."

If I've heard this once I've heard it a thousand times. And yes, I've often felt that way myself.

God, I don't know what the answer to this one is. When I tell people about you or I am trying to woo prodigals back to you, all I know is, this is the main thing that gets in the way most times.

What do I say to a person like this who I...agree with many times? If they catch me on a really bad day sometimes I wanna say, "you're absolutely right...so let's just forget about this whole thing we call "the church" and go out and love Jesus on our own."

There are periods of time where the only real pure connection I have with you without having to get beyond a bunch of stuff, is while I'm on my bike, walking, or laying in my bed. I don't have to wade through a bunch of doo-doo in order to get to you and see you clearly. I think, "if only it were always this simple..." but it's not and you have specifically told us, we do need each other and we do need the church. Why does the church often make it so hard for people to get to you? I'll never understand it.

So I know that being a part of your family in a true sense is right, not just for others but for me too. But there are many days I can't help but agree (inside my head) with the unbelievers or ex-believers who talk to me.

I've always been one who wants to change the world. What's so hard about this issue is that I don't know if it's possible in a sense of sweeping change. I don't know that millions of your followers aren't always going to screw up no matter how much people passionately implore them not to, and make millions of people want nothing to do with you. Could one person really bring about that kind of change? Could even 100 people really ever make a dent in it? I don't know.

I'm trying to be one individual who makes a difference but it feels like a mountain that is impossible to move, and many days I feel dumb for trying. I know I'm not alone. I am not the Psalmist in scripture saying, "help Lord, for the godly are no more..." I know there are many Godly people. Our problem in Christianity is that there are just as many in the church who aren't. Sometimes the Godly truly are at the very least outnumbered. Is it unrealistic thinking that we can actually make a difference and convince people that despite the pathetic actions of a large majority of the body of Christ, this journey of community is still worth it? We know YOU'RE worth it, but is community worth it? That is the nagging question.